Gathering Each Other Up
Gathering Each Other Up

In my teary reflections this week, their transition has been making me wonder: what am I doing here? What is my legacy? How do I want to show up and how can I love my life and this world even more? What is truly meaningful to me, and am I living in alignment with those values? What distracts me from what matters? What do I want to share and how do I want to offer the kind of healing that changes lives and hearts and creates safety and connection? I believe Andrea would say (more eloquently than I can) that each of us can do this in our own unique way, and that every offering is meaningful and powerful and needed.

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Elizabeth Gilletteanxious attachment, avoidant dismissive, attachment therapist, attachment coach, relational nourishment project, andrea gibson, attachment authorComment
Are you a shape shifter in relationships?
Are you a shape shifter in relationships?

Folks with insecure attachment styles have a skill in common that serves them in many capacities. It’s one that can show up in every type of relationship and tricks us into feeling like we are safe—by blending in, by being passive, by not drawing too much attention to ourselves. And it’s a behavior pattern that comes back to bite us SO HARD that once we stop doing it, life can change pretty dramatically and it can take some time to get ourselves back on track and feeling connected again.

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Elizabeth Gilletteanxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, relational nourishment project, elizabeth gilletteComment
Reflections and a Big New Idea
Reflections and a Big New Idea

I’ve been anticipating a pivot in my work for (if I’m really honest) YEARS. I’ve been calling in something new and the idea dropped in a few weeks ago. I’ve been feverishly writing and brainstorming and that’s my favorite place to be—creating something new that feels hopeful, exciting, and healing from the jump.

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Elizabeth Gilletterelationship coaching, relationship goals, relational nourishment project, attachment coach, friendshipComment
Attachment and crushes and exes, oh my!
Attachment and crushes and exes, oh my!

In therapy and coaching sessions that are focused on healing attachment wounds, we talk a lot about past relationships and the attachment patterns that show up consistently for my clients so we can better understand their relational needs and learn how to meet them in adulthood. A pattern I see often (and have experienced myself of course) is ruminating about or idealizing exes, and/or having intense crushes while being in a monogamous relationship. I have lots of thoughts about this from years of utilizing attachment theory, so let’s dive in :)

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Elizabeth GilletteComment
Do you even like them?
Do you even like them?

“Do you even like them?”

I wish someone would have asked me this question for at least 3 (if not more) dating relationships while I was in college. Maybe someone did and I totally ignored them or insisted “yes, of course!”

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Elizabeth GilletteComment
Self-Sacrifice Isn’t Honorable When You’re Resentful
Self-Sacrifice Isn’t Honorable When You’re Resentful

Since the start of the year, I have been really leaning into exploring the parts of my personality that I would rather not look at—the parts I’m shameful or embarrassed about, and the ones that I try to hide or keep at bay but always, always show up at some point in my relationships.

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Elizabeth Gilletteanxious attachment style, anxious avoidant trap, anxious avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, relationship issues, relationship patterns, relationship goals, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, elizabeth gillette Comment
I Keep Trying to Get Impossible People to Love Me
I Keep Trying to Get Impossible People to Love Me

I remember so many times in my early romantic relationships (and honestly, some adult friendships) when I truly did ignore all the warnings, some of them as blatant as “I do not want to be in a relationship right now.”

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Elizabeth Gilletteanxious attachment, avoidant dismissive, dismissive avoidant, avoidant attachment triggers, fearful avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, anxious avoidant trap, attachment style Comment
Managing Anxious Attachment Behaviors and Impulses
Managing Anxious Attachment Behaviors and Impulses

I want to talk about anxious attachment behaviors, impulses, and tendencies. I remember viscerally how it feels to be in relationship with someone who leans toward the avoidant end of the relational spectrum as a person who has the anxious style—and I would describe it as torturous at times, to be completely honest.

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Elizabeth Gilletteanxious attachment, anxious attachment style, anxious avoidant trap, anxious avoidant dynamic, disorganized attachment, fearful avoidant attachment, relationship anxiety Comment
Micro Changes and Commitments!
Micro Changes and Commitments!

I’ve been thinking a lot about small changes and foundational aspects of our relationships to ourselves and the people we love most. Small changes can have huge impacts (see below about the new book I’ve started!) in both directions—positive and negative.

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Elizabeth Gillette Comment